Welcome to the Junkies Life! This sites main purpose is to lead you through the life of a active junkie to the blessings of recovery. The life of a junkie isn't pleasant nor is it very pretty. Most of us that have lived the life know of the hell that we had to each go through in order to get our next fix! We are people that would do or say anything to get high for the high was our only love.
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Most people don't realize the pain in which we live in all of our lives. The way that we feel, the hopelessness, the feelings as if we don't belong in the world in which we are in, the part of being seperated from everyone and everything. I know that for me I used to cover up feelings, and than it became more than to use it became a way of life. The life that was not only filled with using dope, but using everyone and everything that I could get my hands on. I lived in a world that owed me and I took whatever I could whenever I could and didn't care about the consiquences either. I had no morals and if I did, I sure in the hell didn't care. I used to say that I have a don't care attitude and I really don't care that is how that I lived as well.
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Active addiction takes us to the limit and the bottom of bottoms or at least it did me. I am only here to share my story so that just maybe someone else might be able to change the way that they feel about using alcohol and drugs. They ruined my life, and hopefully I have learned a lesson which wasn't a very pretty lesson to learn either. Active addiction caused my crew cab to be wrecked hauling home that day was 20sq of shingles, felt, nails, tools, my dog, and of course 1/2 ounce of meth. I was in a total blackout when the wreck occured and it was when I hit the vehicle in the back I woke up and saw a 18 wheeler headed for me, just missed me and I ended up hitting a guard rail. You would surly think that would have been the bottom of bottoms.
It wasn't until I found a the Program of AA that I finally was able to try something different. Although I haven't stayed sober and clean since I did find the program, the clean time has out done the using time by a huge amount. This is a Program of learning and each relapse that I had, I didn't learn. It took what it took, in order for me to finally learn my lesson on what was causing my relapses. It isn't anyone other than myself for not taking a honest look at myself and my selfish, self-centered ways. Finally after being in the Program for 4 years I opened up the whole ball of wax and took a hard, good look at everything that was in my life. Since than I haven't had to use and for that I am eternally grateful.
